#FlashFictionMagic: Sacred Spaces

A week after the Senior Trip, as he pulled the alb over his head and prepared to serve Mass, Ian couldn’t stop thinking about Sophia. He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend. So many times this week he’d wanted to pinch himself to make sure this was real life. Never before had he known the excitement of meeting a significant other outside of each class, of holding hands in the hallways and eating lunch together, of finding her waiting for him at his locker and walking with her out to the buses. 

Here, though, in the sacred quiet of the church, he had to acknowledge that there were other things he’d never known before. He had never been so constantly physical with another person. He felt like he was always kissing Sophia, not just because he wanted to, but because it was a way to fill the silences in their conversation. If you could even call it conversation. What they discussed was honestly pretty dull, and he wondered how they had even started talking. 

The other thing that felt unfamiliar was the rift his new relationship had caused in his friendship with Reese. Back at the beach, he’d been glad for her support, and her willingness to give him and Sophia some space. Now he just felt lonely all the time. People were paying way more attention to him than ever, patting him on the back and congratulating him on finally growing up and putting himself out there. But these weren’t real friends, and their interest in him felt so false.  There was a part of him that was waiting for Reese to call him out and bring him back to his senses. But she seemed to be going along with the whole situation in a way that had him questioning what would happen if he changed his mind about this whole girlfriend thing. Would Reese even still be there? 

All the candles were lit, and Ian carried the crucifix to the back of the church to wait for the procession. In the vestibule hung a poster advertising the youth group he and Reese sometimes attended. He remembered when the group had designed the poster, huddled around a laptop in the church hall, laughing and joking together. He and Reese had grown close during those sessions, and their relationship had become something sacred unto itself. He had always imagined that when he did have a girlfriend, it would be someone from church with whom he had that special type of connection. In his faint daydreams, that girlfriend was decidedly Reese-shaped. Was he really going to waste the final weeks of high school pretending that dream was dead? 

The organ sounded the opening chord of the processional hymn, and Father Paul appeared behind Ian. He gave a nod, and they made their way up the aisle. About halfway to the altar, Ian spied Reese and her family standing together in their pew and singing. He knew he owed his attention and focus to the Mass and the tabernacle, but he dared a split second of eye contact and was surprised to find her looking right back at him. He didn’t know what to do with his face, and he ended up with a goofy half-grin that didn’t convey any of what he felt. Still, she smiled back, and waved, and Ian felt better than he had in days. He hadn’t lost her yet. 

As he genuflected, placed the crucifix in its proper place, and went to hold the Sacramentary open for Father, Ian found himself remembering a verse that was painted on the wall in the church hall: No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Ian knew this referred to Jesus’s literal death on the cross, but he wondered whether it might also refer to laying down one superficial relationship in favor of another, more fruitful, more real connection with a friend he couldn’t bear to lose. He knew what he’d be praying about during Mass today, and he hoped, if Jesus was asking him to make this sacrifice, he’d at least help him make it easy on Sophia.