#FlashFictionMagic: Bloom

First thing Monday morning, the email from the dentist's office sat at the top of my Android screen, heralding the latest inconvenience. The office was moving. The new address was in the next town. Now instead of dashing around the corner with a couple of kids every so often, I'd have to make appointments for all five at once and plan a trek to the new location. 

Well, they were overdue for cleanings, so at least I could call now and get the ball rolling. I stood at the kitchen counter with pen and paper, then tapped the number in the email. When it popped up in my phone app, I pressed the dial button.

"Dr. Bloom's office," came the bored female voice at the other end of the call. "May I help you?" 

I gave my name and my usual preliminary explanation that I was about to bombard her with the names and birthdates of five children 

"Start with the oldest."

I paused for a second to remember which kid that was, then gave Louise's information. As I reviewed the age order of the rest of the kids in my mind, expecting to be asked for the second one at any moment, the woman spoke again. 

"I don't see a Louise Fitzgerald. Does she go by another name?"

There was no way the dentist's office knew we sometimes called her Lulu Lemon so I said no. "But we used to go to the Germantown office. Maybe our records haven't come over from there yet?"

There was a brief pause. Then the woman said, "Did you say Germantown, ma'am?"

"Yes, I got the email that you're moving and called right away."

"We've never been in Germantown, ma'am. Any chance you're thinking of Gardinertown? That's where we were in the 80s." 

Where the heck was Gardinertown? "No, I'm quite sure that the dentist's office around the corner from my house in Germantown is also in Germantown." I had countless tchotchkes from that office: key chains, Frisbees, pencils and erasers. "I'm looking at a fridge magnet with the address on it right now."

"Well," the woman said, infusing her voice with more patience now that I was clearly losing my mind. "You realize you've called Dr. Bloom's office, right? Dr. Bloom." She said the name louder the second time, the way a rude person raises the volume when addressing someone with hearing loss. 

"Of course I know who I called! You contacted me! All I did was click the number in your email!" 

"Well all I can tell you is we don't have a record of a Louise with your last name, and we've definitely never had an office in Germantown."

"This makes no sense!" I said, pacing the kitchen now. "Why did you email me? You have a record of us somewhere. That's the only way you're hearing from me."

"Maybe you can try dialing the number again. Lots of businesses have numbers that are really close."

"I didn't dial! I tapped!" I stalked to the coffee table for my laptop, dragged it back to the counter ,and flung the lid open. "I'm opening the email right now." 

"I'm not sure what that's going to do, ma'am. If you'd like to join our practice –" 

"I've already joined! But apparently you people have misplaced an entire office and wiped your memories of all the patients!" I knew how this sounded, but what other explanation could there be? 

"I really think there must be–" 

"Here!" I poked my finger into the plasma of my monitor as though anyone could see it. "The email is from 'reception at bloom dental dot com. B-L-O-O-M…"

As I spelled the name, I looked up again at the magnet on the fridge, then glanced over at the mug in the dish drainer. They, and, I quickly realized,  all the other little giveaway items littering my house, bore the name not of Dr. Bloom but of Dr. Blume. I gasped.

"Ma'am?"

Frantically, I scrolled through the email message, unable to speak. There it was. In black and white, clear as day, were the words "Dear Mrs. Fitzgerald, It has been several years since we have seen you in our office…" 

"Are you there, ma'am?"

"Uhhh, I gotta go," I said and as my eyes took in the rest of the message - "Dr. Bloom has recently taken over Dr. Smith's practice…" - I abruptly hung up.  Dr. Smith, the kindly old dentist who had pulled my wisdom teeth when Louise was six months old. I'd forgotten all about him. How nice of his office to reach out. Too bad I could never show my face there again. 

Groaning, I slammed the laptop shut. Then I went directly to the cupboard for a bag of black tea. Caffeine before correspondence always from now on.